[Previous entry: "Absurdities"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Singleton Rule # 563"] 18/06/2004 Spurt: "I'm lovin' it" Blimey, what a week! What a mind-blowing month! There is so much life going on right now. Good life, bad life but there’s so much of it going on I feel so fucking alive. Luckily right now there’s a whole heap of good stuff that’s helping me deal with the bad stuff….. Right now, at this very instant I’ve become hopelessly addicted to 3 songs – and somehow the music is really helping. It’s giving me so much energy. As is all this sunshine. Oh, and I’m on a total exercise induced high. I’ve heard people say that exercise can have a big emotional impact on you – and to be honest I never really believed it because I’d never felt the impact – but 10 days ago I got a bike and I’m feeling the effect – boy am I feeling the impact! Absolutely fabulous. I’ve cycled lots and lots – probably did more exercise in this past week than I had in the previous 6 months – and I feel so good. So horny too – which is just absolutely great. And my stomach muscles are getting more toned, as is my butt – and my back (which has been a constant cause of problems this year) is strengthening up and so it’s easier to sit up straight… all marvellous – especially right now, because my asthma is being completely rubbish again (am back on 4 doses of steroids a day) and usually that makes my back worse, so having the cycling strengthen it up has avoided a repeat of that problem. Fab! Work has been an unfolding nightmare over the past 2 months, and 3 weeks ago the shit completely completely hit the fan. I’m contractually forbidden from writing or discussing my current job on this site – but it’s been very ugly indeed. There’s a bully there who’s a complete pig - and it appears it’s my turn to put up with his shit. Let me just say that the only way for him to become more aggressive towards me would be if he actually hit me. That’s how verbally aggressive he’s been. Ugly ugly man*. But somehow this week I’ve changed my tact completely and I’ve decided to disempower the bully’s words and behaviour. Had a long long chat with a Buddhist guy who’s helped me find a way to ignore the current work shit, and just let it exist without it getting to me… And that fabulous advice combined with my current addiction to the new Janet Jackson song** has created a very protective bubble in my world right now. I feel the sky could fall down and I’d still be fine – well for as long and the song lasts anyway (so it’s lucky that it’s stuck in my mind on endless single-repeat then! :-) Oh, and I’m reading an amazing book. Armistead Maupin “The Night Listener” – which is really really sad – but I’m finding it very uplifting. Which is either the point of the book, or some freaky unintended response it’s creating in me – either way it’s very helpful. What else is going on? Well a very good friend has become very sick indeed, which is prompting me to go on many visits to the hospital… I do hope he’ll be OK. Hugs babes; I’m thinking of ya’. The visits have given an almighty boost to my already flourishing “Live Fun Campaign”. Boy does it remind me of how much we have to make the most of life…... My dressing younger and skimpier has proved very popular – and now that the cycling has super-flattened out my tummy I’ve got the confidence to wear sexier clothing – and the impact has been phenomenal. I’m getting so much attention. And quite frankly with so much shit going on around me, it’s absolutely very much welcome. Bring it on. I’ve not had this much attention from guys since I was 17. The best is that I’m simply enjoying it – it’s not about feeling I need attention at all – it’s about enjoying the good times :-) There’s been more trauma (and I’m not being a drama queen here), but I’ve managed to make a good guy feel very insecure. Entirely my fault – even if it’s his issues, it’s my behaviour that’s promoted his current unease – which is totally rubbish of me, since I normally go out of my way to at least *try* to make the world a better place… Let’s hope the wind blows the unease away ASAP. Hugs to you too Mr Q. In other news: god has contacted me a fair few times with text messages. Seems we’ll become mate, which suits me fine. Actually would quite like that, because I know he fancies me, which is a good ego boost - even if he’s not dating material. It’s not the vain ego boost I like, it’s the fun aspect. A slight flirting, and just plain good old having fun. Keep it coming :-) There’s so much more going on – BB addiction, a sex life rebirth (weh hey), and just so much energy – I was born to live like this.
* clearly I mean he’s an ugly man in the personality-way…..
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Just exploring the menu structure on the site - which is seriously in need of attention if I may say so! All sorts of hyperlinks which point to out of date material, e.g. old spurts... Anyway, why have you edited the start of this one? It doesn't sound like you any more.
Spurted by Martin @ 17/08/2004 01:11 AM GMT
Hey, I just found your web page while searching for "who's gay in hollywood" and man, i really like it. I am reading your coming out story and i'm gonna finish it tomorrow. Very cool, thanks Luke
Spurted by Luke @ 14/07/2004 06:03 AM GMT
Love your smile Christ
Spurted by Rob @ 09/07/2004 09:46 AM GMT
Well you're welcome - glad I could be of some assistance :-) Glad you're enjoying the openness of this all. I find it all very liberating myself... but I guess anonymity is cool too. Hope you're doing well x
Spurted by ThatP @ 22/06/2004 08:06 PM GMT
Dear P, Thanks for the internet short hand lesson. You can probably tell that I'm a complete novice at this internet thing. I've never had time for it before but having recently given up full time work I thought I'd give it ago and see what's out there. Well there is a lot! I came across your site, about a month ago, following links starting with David Beckham. I found the site compelling reading and have been all over it - now to the point of this letter - 'the webcam'! The first time I went there I thought it was a picture and then you moved, I was blown away. Why would you bring complete strangers into your home, your personal space like this? I was however, drawn to it and kept checking in. You typed hello and I freaked and got out of there quick!!! Then your message of living openly and honestly kept nagging at me and I felt I owed you some honesty. I like the anonymity of net and I'm not ready to share my life (by the way you are not missing much - your life is way more interesting) I'm just saying - hello, I love the site, the message it gives and I'll be checking back. After all that I bet you wish I knew more internet short hand - lol! Regards Smoz
Spurted by Smoz @ 22/06/2004 05:20 AM GMT
Hey ThatBoy Mark - how's it going? Welcome back!! It's been ages - of course I remember you and our links to each other... The cyber world has missed ya! P x
Spurted by ThatP @ 21/06/2004 11:15 PM GMT
Hi That P from Thatboy. Used to have a webpage similar to yours q while back. I think we had links to oneanother. I stopped mine 'cos I got fed up with the hassles from work over what I wrote. Anyway, nice to see you still have yours. Looking great. I was thinking of taking up cycling you know. I have a bike sitting in the garage and if I biked to work I'm sure I'd soon start to get back into shape. Take care. x Mark
Spurted by Mark @ 21/06/2004 05:26 PM GMT
LOL = Laugh out loud... It's internet short shand for laughing....
Spurted by ThatP @ 20/06/2004 06:46 PM GMT
Bullies are rubbish - rise above them and get on with living! Yeah for god - of course he fancies you! I have no idea what lol means?
Spurted by Smoz @ 20/06/2004 03:35 PM GMT
BB = Big brother :-)
Spurted by ThatP @ 19/06/2004 11:11 AM GMT
P, er, BB addiction???
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