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19/08/2004 Spurt: "Breakfasts"

A guide to breakfasts.

I was amazed to hear that a friend of mine thought I had solid food for breakfast, and even more surprised to hear he didn’t know what a *’s breakfast is. So for the record, and as a service to the greater internet public, here is the definitive list of what counts as breakfast, and what it’s called.

A *’s breakfast: a coffee and a cigarette
A cheap *’s breakfast: a coke and a cigarette
A cheap tacky *’s breakfast: a coke, which (s)he drinks first, breaks the can in half and uses the half can as an ashtray
A fat cheap tacky *’s breakfast: as above, but with a diet coke

A clubbers breakfast: a Redbull and a chocolate bar
A hungry clubbers breakfast: as above but the chocolate bar will be king sized.

A fresh-faced French breakfast: a croissant and juice (must be eaten after 9 am)
A regular French breakfast: croissant and coffee
A busy Frenchman’s Breakfast: coffee or juice (no food)

A builder’s breakfast: a Sausage, some rashers of bacon, fried egg, baked beans
A fat builder’s breakfast: as above, but more sausages
A heart attack breakfast: as above but more of everything, eaten daily

A bourgeois English breakfast: as above once a month, using range eggs (scrambled instead of fried) and organic sausages
A pretentious bourgeois English breakfast: as above, but using duck eggs for the scrambled eggs.

A gay man’s dream breakfast: sex followed by any of the above

My breakfast this morning? ….. that would be telling.

Your spurts: 126 comments

Thanks P, I do learn something new on the internet everyday. What would you call cereal and coffee - boring- I quess? I quite like the sound of the fresh French breakfast - I'd have to have coffee too though - love coffee. Thank god the Olympics are over. I can finally get some sleep! Ruth x

Spurted by Ruth @ 30/08/2004 02:25 AM GMT

What about hard boiled eggs? What sort of breakfast would that be?

Spurted by Ming @ 27/08/2004 12:22 PM GMT

Ooo. I won't half mind a clubbers breakfast right now!

Spurted by ThatP @ 26/08/2004 02:03 PM GMT

Spurted by Her Most Serene and Celestial Highness The Emerald Princess Octavia Vaguna lala @ 24/08/2004 12:52 PM GMT

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

Spurted by Felix @ 23/08/2004 08:20 PM GMT

I would say something obnoxious, but nah. I didn't know half of these! Thanks!

Spurted by DB @ 21/08/2004 09:15 PM GMT

Re: a clubbers breakfast: a Redbull and a chocolate bar

I thought I was weird for always craving a chocolate bar after a night of clubbing! LOL I always get it with a Dr Pepper instead of the Redbull though.

A gay man's dream breakfast? I rarely get that! LOL

Spurted by Daniel @ 21/08/2004 03:47 AM GMT

.

Lucky you Andy! P x

Spurted by ThatP @ 20/08/2004 11:29 PM GMT

A gay man’s dream breakfast - that's what I had this morning...!

Spurted by Andy @ 20/08/2004 10:56 PM GMT

i had coke (the drink) and walkers crisps.

Spurted by Ming @ 20/08/2004 01:19 PM GMT