Sunday, February 22, 2004
I had a rather delightful friend over for dinner the other day – he’s an old friend – and we started talking about “change”. We talked at length about two opposite approaches. One is “managed change” where you try to make things work by making compromises and trying fix things (be they companies or relationships).
The other is “creative destruction” where you don’t try to fix things and decide to stop what’s not working, and move on.
Of course people are rarely exclusively one or the other, but thinking in those two terms has really helped me. Usually I’m a “managed change” person. In a work situation I believe you can make 100 small changes to achieve a huge difference. You can nearly always find efficiency improvements. In relationships I believe you’ll always have areas where you both want different things. Giving up rather too early rather than trying to find a workable solution will mean you’re unlikely ever to settle down in a long-term relationship because you’re unlikely ever to find someone who is a 100% match. Since I personally would like to settle down, the “managed change” approach seems to make the most sense.
Obviously there comes a point when “managed change” won’t work. Perhaps it’s obvious from the beginning. At work you could have a product or service that’s expensive to provide, and doesn’t sell. You can change and reduce costs, but if it’s going to keep making a loss and consumers don’t like it, then obviously it’s better to stop making it. In a relationship some things you can’t compromise on. I like spending time relaxing with a special person. Talking, hugging, and kissing all have equal importance to me. I like my fair share of good old fashion sucking and wanking, but I’m not into anal. If I meet someone who doesn’t like kissing or hugging but only likes being able to fuck all night, then no amount of “managed change” is going to help find a workable compromise.
Where this concept becomes interesting is finding the fine line when “managed change” would be better replaced with “creative destruction” in any given situation. “Give up” too early, and you might risk losing something which you could have found a workable solution to. Worse case scenario 1: you never give anything enough of a chance to be successful.
Scenario 2: Wait too long, try too hard, and you’re wasting time when you could be finding a better all-round replacement. The worse case scenario for 2 is: you end up staying with something that’s not working.
Everyone’s different, but when I look around it seems suddenly clearer as to who is managing to recognise the fine line (and, who isn’t!). In a business sense those who stay in jobs and complain the whole time, are obviously those who haven’t moved on with their lives. The others who get it wrong are the ones who keep changing jobs, never waiting to get promoted or do well… Life long temps, not because they’ve chosen flexibility, but because they haven’t stuck at anything. The successful ones? They’re the ones who try out different jobs and businesses and drop the unsuccessful ones and try something new, until they find a successful profitable and enjoyable one – but each time staying long enough to know when it’s not working, and equally long enough to recognise when something’s going to work big time.
In love? Well the ones who get the balance wrong are the ones who are in destructive depressing relationships that lower their self-esteem – or those who are never happy and constantly single (again, not by choice). Everyone knows who the happy ones are.
This is all horribly over-simplified, but equally that’s the beauty of it. Suddenly difficult decisions in my life seem simple: Have I given something a real chance to succeed? If not, stick to it a bit longer. If I have given something a really good chance, and it’s not working – well it’s time to move on, because my life’s moving on and there’s no point in wasting it in a wrong situation: be it in work, love or anything else.
It’s super-simple, and it’s made me feel so much more decisive. I’m loving this….
Posted by ThatP @ 10:46 PM GMT [Link] [610 comments]
