Wednesday, May 5, 2004
I’ve got a little true story I’d like to share with you, but first, I want to welcome (ideally, I’d like to *personally* welcome) the 7.5 million* gay Eastern Europeans who became citizens of the European Union over the weekend. I wish you well, hope you enjoy many benefits with your new membership and I look forward to sharing good times and opportunities with you. Long live the EU (oh, and whilst we’re at it, long live Eastern European gay boys!).
And now for a true story:
A super close friend of mine left the country today. He’s moving to Germany, which leaves me very sad. But a good comforting note is that he’s had a fantastic last month in London. He met a guy in a bar about 4 weeks ago, and they got on famously. Sex was (by all accounts) very spectacular, and they totally clicked. My friend hadn’t really met anyone nice in the many years he lived in London, and now that he was about to leave, he met someone wonderful. How many times do you hear about guys meeting someone “amazing” just as they’re about to move countries? All the time right?! How about meeting someone amazing when you’re on holiday? That happens all the time as well! Or you meet someone when you’re already in a relationship. People are always meeting people at the most inconvenient times – that’s what all these situations have in common. And I think it’s obvious why: in all these situations people are relaxed, they’re not worrying about “what will happen”, they’re just out to have a good relaxed fun time. They’re not being demanding, they’ve not got expectations.
I think the sure fire relationship-killer is thinking about whether things will work. If you’re asking yourself at the beginning whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, then you’re almost sure to destroy any chances of anything happening – I’d go as far as to say you’re even ruling out the possibility of a short-term relationship. Well, that’s my new theory anyway…..
…. And it just happens that the “just have fun” approach to dating fits in *p e r f e c t l y* with the whole “just enjoy life” vibe I’m on at the moment. To be blunt, I had a crap couple of years, a while back, and now I think “fuck it, I’m just going to have fun again”. I’ve started playing louder music, not giving a damn what people think of me (I’m still a nice “I want to make the world a better place” kind of a guy, but…. I’m not letting people judge me anymore. I’ll give you an example. I’ve wanted to have webcams on my site for ages: since webcams were available in the shops. But I didn’t at first because of bandwidth issues… and then when I could, I wasn’t in the fun stage of my life… But recently thanks to the sexy influence of Ryan Carter, I’ve got into the whole webcam vibe thing again.
Then I remembered that I had wanted to put a cam online, but for a brief oldP moment, I thought, “no, Andy will think it’s really weird”. And “no, my parents totally won’t get it” – and I had that thought for a couple of days and then thought “fuck it, I think it’ll be fun. I’ll do it.” Who cares what friends and family think? It’s just me having some fun, and nobody has the right to judge that – and if they do, well that’s their issue, and I’m not going to make it my issue. Life’s much better that way. I think I always used to bang on about openness and honesty (and of course in some ways the online cams fit in very well with that), but now I’m concentrating more on just enjoying life. Less analytical processes and more following what feels right and fun. And it’s working wonders for me right now.
So, for the first time since I was 17, I’m going to drop the old interview-style dates and replace them with just hanging out with guys who seem interesting and sexy. No first round, second round – just good old let’s meet, drink, eat and have a good evening. The approach seems to be working – as I’ve been asked out by 4 guys this week. Doubt I’ll sleep with any of them, but planning on having fun rather than wondering if they’d make suitable boyfriends is SO MUCH LESS STRESSFUL! It’s great – I think I’m going to enjoy the fun-dating approach.
Oh a side note, I’ve also noticed that guys have started grabbing my arse in public – the other day I was at a bar and it seemed as if everyone who walked past grabbed it. I suppose that’s rude, but the novelty made it quite fun. The only thing that’s changed is that I’ve bought a pair of jeans (I’m dressing younger, did I mention that? It’s also part of the live-life, life-fun campaign) instead of wearing smarter trousers… But that can’t be the reason, can it?
Anyway, I’m off to Paris tomorrow till Sunday, so that’ll be nice – and then back to fun fun P in London next week. Marvellous.
*Who knows how many there really are, estimates for gay people as a percentage of total population range from 1% to 10%. Since the 10 nation states that joined the new enlarged European Union contain 75 million people, then in the unlikely event that only 1% of them are gay, that’s still 750,000 new gay boys and girls for the EU! For no good reason at all, I believe that 4% of the world is gay – meaning that we’ve got another 3 million in the EU club. Fantastic.
Posted by ThatP @ 09:20 PM GMT [Link] [53 comments]
