Myself and an old BF, (who spoke fluent French) once arrived at the station in Todmorden (5 Miles From Home)to find the ticket office closed.
Undaunted yet nervous, we boarded the train when it arrived and tried to look innocently sweet. (It was easy to look like male Lolitas aged 18 in 1989.) With typical annoyance a huge guard who looked like Lennox Lewis asked us for our tickets. It was then that me and Jamie began our much used habit of "Franco~Feignery" to avoid paying the fare. Jamie (My sweet BF) automatically shot out a French Plea about "Billets", "Impossiblé Purchasement!"
and something about "Le place de Términéé?" I simply shrugged my shoulders in a 'Gallic Fashion.'
Luckily, Lennox, the guard with the ticket clipper didn't speak French so we escaped with a wag of his finger, a shrug of his elephantine shoulders and a shout of "Bloody Foreigners" he wandered off down the train punching little holes in other people's "billets!"
We pretended to be French whenever there was no way we could obtain a ticket. (Empty ticket/paying offices, 'Brief Encounter Style Situations' or when we needed all our cash for other reason's. We had just started at College so cash was tight!
Sadly Jamie is no longer with us, but his brilliance lives on, and I still pretend to be French now and again, but I always buy a 'Billet' just in case.
I thought this idea might be of assistance to those Students out there in Cyberland/'ThatP World' who have to pay rip off rail fares
on trains - but I always get a ticket when I can.
Many of guards though are bilingual - so take care.
Lots of Amour et Jobs de Blow.
Damien.
CxxxxxC XXII.
